Bad Air

Bitter Ben once had over 10,000 followers. Now he just has something new to be bitter about, after WP somehow lost his blog and he had to start it over. I’m trying to help Ben get back to his 10 grand again, with this reblog. That way he’ll have 10,000 more reasons to be bitter.

Ben's Bitter Blog 2

Little kid football.

My son is a football player. I’ve never seen someone so excited to hit people on the field and then be so unexcited to do any sort of movement off the field (IE at home). He is the hardest working lazy boy I’ve ever met. He can run his mouth 55 miles an hour, but doesn’t have the ability to walk a few steps to the kitchen to put a dish back, or pick up a piece of clothing.

Back to the football. He practices almost everyday, which is great for him. He needs somewhere to go that isn’t Fortnite, or his computer. So last week, we got the call that they were cancelling practice due to the bad air. I never would have believed a practice could be cancelled for that until now.

Why do we like the outdoors again?

We’ve been having fires in the…

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Stolen Quote: Beautiful Woman

If you talk of a beautiful woman you mean only something flying fast which for a second uses the eyes, lips, or cheeks of Fanny Elmer, for example, to glow through. ~ Virginia Woolf, from “Jacob’s Room”

Not to mention, Fanny’s fanny.

Why Amerika Is Great Again

Amerika’s symbol, looking for newly created greatness.
Mid-term elections are less than three months away, and President Trump is out on the campaign trail. With his wavy combover flapping like an Amerikan flag in the breeze, he’s reminding us how he’s made Amerika great again.

And it’s undeniable. Amerika has once again emerged as a great world power. Here are a few reasons why:

Amerika is great again because our worries about war with Russia are over, now that they’re our bestest friends. It’s true that our newest worries are war with Canada, Mexico, England, Germany, France, China, Iran, and a whole bunch of other countries. But between us and Russia, we have enough nuclear missiles to blow them and the whole world up many, many times over. And that’s a great comfort.

Amerika is great again because we’ve identified our biggest enemy. Mexicans. We recently started separating Mexican children from their parents. Or are they Hondurans and El Salvadorans? Wait, what’s the difference? This separation has led to alarm and anxiety amongst the Mexican/Honduran/El Salvadoran people. Hell, let’s just call them the Mexihonadorans. Next we will sell their children back to them and use the proceeds to build a Great Wall.

Amerika is great again because we are eliminating our trade deficit with the world. What with tariffs and retaliatory tariffs, our trade deficit with other nations is on the decline. In fact, all trading with other nations is on the decline. When trading eventually reaches zero, this should encourage us to become a great, self-sufficient country.

Amerika is great again because we no longer have to worry about global warming. We’ve learned to distrust the fake scientists and fake news media that have propagated myths like global warming. So now we feel safe getting rid of emission standards and turning our air into the great smell of money. A great amount of money. For great, hard working folks, like those who work for Trump.

Amerika is great again because we’ve discovered that the only real news comes from Facebook memes. And we don’t even have to create them. Our caring comrades in Russia have volunteered to produce all the memes we need to keep abreast of real news events. This information will help Amerikan citizens in many ways, but especially when deciding how to vote.

Trump has truly made Amerika great again, and we should feel appreciative. So come November, head on down to the polls and send President Trump’s party your own personal message of gratitude. But it really won’t be necessary for you to make such effort. These days you can just stay at home and let someone in Saint Petersburg do your voting for you.

And isn’t that great?

For a related post about Russian meddling, check out this from nrhatch:

Stolen Quote: Answers

Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I understand there’s a fairly large industry, based upon providing these answers.

Stolen Quote: Hole

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay, American poet

I think this is why it’s so important to appreciate the ones we love while we have them.