The Wizzard One-Way Window

You never have to clean it, so you always have a beautiful view!
You never have to clean it, so you always have a beautiful view!

(Adversetisement)
Imagine being able to reach outside and pick a flower off your trellis without ever opening a window. You can do this and much more with the amazing Wizzard One-Way Window! The Wizzard One-Way Window allows you to reach or climb through it from inside of your house, while preventing anything that is outside your house from entering.

How does it work? FM. Fucking Magic. Heh-heh, no we don’t reveal our secrets at Wizzard Labs. But trust us. This window will make you wonder how you ever lived without it. It’s the brainchild of our creative genius and resident mad scientist, Dr. Izzi Keek. For many years Dr. Keek studied the technology of one-way mirrors, utilizing public restrooms for his careful research. And then a breakthrough discovery allowed him to transfer one-way mirror technology to windows.

Now, for just $49.99 plus $16.68 shipping and handling, you can be the proud owner of a Wizzard One-Way Window. And then you can hold a house party and amaze your friends! Or if you live in a multi-story building, you can find clever ways to eliminate your enemies. And you’ll save time, because you’ll never have to clean the Wizzard One-Way Window.

You’ll sleep well with the Wizzard One-Way Window in your house. It’s impervious to burglars, rapists, and serial killers. And if your house catches fire, you’ll be so glad you have a window you can easily dive through.

But wait! Send your money in today, and add an extra $15.00 for additional shipping and handling, and we’ll mail you not one, not two, but three of our amazing Wizzard One-Way Windows!

Instructions: The Wizzard One-Way Window is very lightweight and portable. So we send it to you folded-up, in an envelope. This saves you mountains of cash in shipping and handling expenses! When you receive your Wizzard One-Way Window, simply open the envelope and shake it out onto a soft surface. Then grasp the window with the fingertips of both hands and carefully unfold it. The Wizzard One-Way Window is very transparent, so you may not be sure what you’re actually grasping. But if your fingers seem to pass through its surface, be confident that you are holding the actual product. After unfolding your new Wizzard One-Way Window, simply place it over any existing open window. It’s that easy!

Cautions and Disclaimers: Do not try to penetrate your Wizzard One-Way Window from the other side–damage may occur, such as shattered illusions. Some windows require a break-in period of indeterminate length before one-way action replaces two-way action. All payments, however, are always one-way, with no refunds.

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7 thoughts on “The Wizzard One-Way Window

  1. New product, straight from the Gullibility Division of Ronco. I’d switch to 8-point font for that last paragraph, just a thought. Love it, I’m gonna order me one. No, make that three! Never know which window you might have to dive out of in a hurry. So creative! Love it, Tippy. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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