About: Chasing Unicorns


Hi, I’m Tippy Gnu (pronounced Guh-new). There are three things I want in life:

  1. Money
  2. Fame
  3. Happiness

In that order.

But these things are elusive, and trying to acquire them can be much like chasing unicorns. And so I’ve started this blog as a way to help me with the chase. I’m hoping it will help at least accomplish the top two goals. Here’s how:

First, I’m going to try to sell you some snake oil a philosophy I’ve developed for the attainment of happiness. It’s called Unicorniks. And when you buy this philosophy, I will have money.

Next, I’m going to encourage you to tell everyone about me. Yes, me, the grand founder of this wonderful, revolutionary philosophy called Unicorniks. I’ll have you going door-to-door pestering your neighbors, distributing literature at your local supermarket, and droning on and on about me to all your friends and family members. This will spread my name far and wide, so that eventually I’ll enjoy all the cachet and adulation that comes with being famous.

Finally, with money and fame in my possession, I’ll be able to be happy. Which will be easy. Because Unicorniks is guaranteed to make any rich and famous person happy.

Here is a summary of the Unicorniks philosophy for attaining happiness:

  • Happiness is derived from unique experiences.
  • Except for unique experiences that lead to misery.
  • It’s impossible to know which unique experiences are going to make us happy.
  • But it’s often possible to guess which will make us miserable.
  • There’s no formula or consistent way to create unique experiences. How the hell could that be possible?
  • Therefore, happiness is elusive. As elusive as any unicorn.